Table 2 Patients’ interpretations of ’peace’ and ‘life worthwhile’

Perception of self and world

Perception of self and world

• Peace as a feeling (not worrying, being happy)

• Life worthwhile as a feeling (not feeling down, feeling happy)

I stay peacefully these days because I have no worries. This makes me go day by day. (A-HO030, Uganda)

They are trying to find out how positive we are. Whether we feel down all the time or whether we feel happy about life. (D007, South Africa)

• Peace as an attitude (acceptance, hope)

• Life worthwhile as an attitude (being positive, not giving up)

With this it’s a mental thing, I think, and it’s about acceptance… I think the whole thing with people and cancer is, ‘I’ve got cancer, what‘s going to happen to me, what the hell am I going to do?’ (D017, South Africa)

Life is worthwhile big time, because one must not say because I am sick I give up on life and lose hope… You must be strong in life and face facts, don’t be shy, and go for it. (C073, South Africa)

• Peace as an experience (relaxing, calming)

• Life worthwhile as the importance of life

When I’m on the beach, when I’m sitting on the rocks and the dog is running in and out of the water, that’s peace. (D004, South Africa)

Interviewer: What do you think is the meaning of this question?

A-HO031: That has life been important to me? Yes, I feel that my life is very important. That’s why I have the courage to live up to this time otherwise with what I faced I would have gone long ago. (Uganda)

• Life worthwhile as meaning, purpose

Interviewer: What do you think the question means?

A-KA029: (Laughs then goes quiet) Maybe it means does it have purpose. (Uganda)

I think it means that was my life meaningful in the past three days. (C066, Christian woman with HIV, 37 years old, South Africa)

• Life worthwhile as quality of life

It depends on how thing are going and your quality of life I think… It depends on how the day is going really, and how I’m feeling. (D012, South Africa)

Relationship to others

Relationship to others

• Peace as harmonious, forgiving relationships

• Life worthwhile as value to others

Maybe they mean how do I feel I cope with the others, like my neighbours [community], is there peace within us? (D069, South Africa)

It means may be on my side do I still love my life? Or is it valuable to others? (A-KA030, Uganda) As I was there in hospital I dreamt of seeing this brother and my son. We were very, very happy together. I then realised that there are still people who love me. On waking up I then realised I don’t want to die. It was then my life took a turn for the positive. (B-LL033, South Africa)

• Peace as supportive relationships

Interviewer: What does it then mean to you to feel at peace?

A-KA023: This is because my relatives regularly check on me and they provide medication and food at least making me happy. They don’t leave me alone. (Uganda)

• Peace as openness with others

• Life worthwhile as togetherness

Interviewer: What sort of things would you think about to help you answer that?

[It is asking] if you are happy with your family or your children and you want to spend more time with them. Something to look forward to everyday. Your children are married and your grandchildren are growing up and they love you so much, they come to you and they cling to you. You feel that you want to be with them forever. (D066, South Africa)

D007: Don’t carry it all on my own, try to share with others. Especially with my husband… which I’m not always able to do. Ja… If someone’s very healthy they don’t want to know about your moans and groans. (South Africa)

Spiritual beliefs

Identity

• Peace as comfort from belief in afterlife

• Life worthwhile as independence

I know my God. I know, though still young, that one day I will go to eternal life. I am at peace and I know that I will be going to a better place to my husband. (B-LK012, South Africa)

Interviewer: Do you feel that your life has been worthwhile? Do you understand the question?

B-LK014: Yes, I have been doing things for myself. I was never dependent on anybody. I want to get better and regain my strength and be able to work again. (South Africa)

• Peace as faith in God

• Life worthwhile as ability to work

Yes, I am very much at peace. I know God loves me. If not so I would not be feeling as I am. (B-LL032, South Africa)

Yes, my life was valuable to me. I was working, had a lot of plans for my future and was very well until I started being sick with TB. Since then I thought if I have TB something else is going to follow. It is worse when I heard that I am HIV positive. I am just living each day – nothing has value anymore. (B-HH011, South Africa)

I’m not religious, as I said before, but maybe make peace with your maker, that sort of thing. (D002, South Africa)

• Peace as support from ancestors

Yes, I am at peace. I have accepted everything and more because I know that my ancestors have not abandoned me. (D061, South Africa)

Health and healthcare

• Peace as pain and symptom control

Interviewer: Have you felt at peace – inner peace?

B-HH014: Yes, I am satisfied. I get my medication and that makes me feel good. (South Africa)

How can I get peace when I am feeling pain? The peace I have is because of care and support from I got from the Hospice. (A-HO030, Uganda)

• Peace as health

I cannot say I am at total peace because I am still not well. My state of health is not where I want it to be but as I have said, I believe God is going to give me back my health and strength. (B-LL036, South Africa)

• Peace as full information

Yes, I did have peace, when they have explained about everything. (C065, South Africa)